Self-Worth and Approval

Self-esteem and self-worth go hand and hand. Self-worth is how one identifies their value and identity. Self-esteem is the measuring stick of how one feels about self.

Two Components to measuring worth is based on security and significance. Self-esteem and worth are based on how a woman feels loved and accepted. Many women use physical appearance as a measure of worth, this is not true worth; it is only an external illusion.

Security gives a woman certainty- a foundation on which to build relationships and carry out daily living. An insecure woman feels uncomfortable with self and can only identify weakness and failure.

Significance is having purpose and meaning in one’s life. A woman seeking significance will struggle with feelings of inadequacy and hopelessness, usually questioning reason for life.

Both self-esteem and worth are developed during childhood and teenage years.  Experiences, attachment styles, and family dynamics play a huge role in an individual’s esteem and worth.

Low self-esteem can lead to risky sexual behaviors, suicidal ideations, and eating disorders.

Generally, self-esteem peaks b/w ages 8-10 years.

Nearly every woman struggles with insecurity over appearance.

God created us to be satisfied in Him. Nothing else—even the biggest accomplishment we can imagine—can fill our need to be affirmed, loved and valued. Earthly approval is short lived and fleeting. A woman who knows the desires to hear Jesus say “well done good and faithful servant” above anything else, understands God’s love and realizes his love is unconditional, never ending, and is not determined by any personal accomplishment. Therefore, when we live out of this truth, we serve others as an overflow of His love in our hearts, not as a way to earn God’s approval or love.

Action Steps

  1. Retrain the way you think: Worth and the need for approval begins in your thought patterns. It is imperative to see the difference between what is true and what is a lie.
  2. Identifying thoughts and patterns of thoughts that contribute to harmful thinking is the first step. Once identified, replacing the harmful and self-defeating thoughts with positive thoughts that are life giving can be established, and thus retraining your thinking patterns.
  3. Memorize scripture that reinforces your significance and worth in Christ.
  • I am God’s workmanship – Eph 2:10
  • I am free from condemnation –Roman 8:1-2
  • I am Jesus’ friend – john 15:15
  • I have been redeemed and forgiven for every sin –Col. 1:13-14
  • I have direct access to God – Heb. 4:14-16

Memorizing is not enough; you must live out the word in your life daily. A personal relationship to Christ is the only way to eliminate these thought patterns for good, as you grow in Him, your heart will become impenetrable to evil, lies and deceit feed to us by the enemy and world.

Thoughts directly influence our hearts. Changing what comes out of the mind will greatly impact your thinking about who you are and who God is. Ultimately this process will reshape your identity.

  1. Partake in Self-enriching Activities:

Don’t buy into the media’s agenda of what worth is or looks like.

Get involved in the community/church outreach. This will help create a more realistic view of reality that will provide a better idea of self and life.

Use your talents and natural abilities to help others or activities within the community.

  1. Set a Biblical Standard- Know your worth and value by reading God’s word and developing a firm foundation in Him. Knowing you only need approval from God will radically change your self-image. When you know God intimately and are seeking His approval, a new significance and worth develop that you have never previously experienced.

Biblical Insights

God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male & female he created them –Gen 1:27

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. – Psalm 139:14

But now, this is what the Lord says- he who created you, o Jacob he who formed you, O Israel   : Fear not, fro I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine.” –Isaiah 43:1

The Quick-Reference Guide to Counseling Women Paperback – September 1, 2011

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Time limit is exhausted. Please reload CAPTCHA.